Questions...
So, the other day while at Disneyland (more on that later), my lovely sister in law and I were discussing the questions people ask young people especially.
After you graduate high school, it's "What are you going to do with your life?" "Are you going to college?" etc. Then when you meet someone, it's "When are you getting married?" In Mormon culture, this question is especially prevalent because we are a marrying people, usually with short engagements. It feels almost incessant, and becomes almost a chore to answer.
Then you get married and the cry is "When are you starting a family?" "Are you ready for a baby?" Even sometimes, "Are you pregnant?" This sort of questioning can become draining. It gets almost ridiculous. At church, if you have been married more than a few months you get hounded, often very kindly, about when your prospective baby is to arrive. In my case and that of my sister in law, we wanted to be married for awhile. Just married, no pregnancy hormones making you into a fat faced (credit goes to Cristin), hormonal crazy person. I felt like I was really not ready for well over a year. It's OK, we certainly have plenty of time to "go forth and multiply" without being asked why not sooner.
For some, this type of questioning goes beyond annoyance to just plain inconsiderate. Infertility is very real and emotionally draining to couples who experience it. So, lay off the questions!
Of course, when you finally reach the point of pregnancy, more questions are thrown at you, more often by complete strangers. Everyone wants to know, when are you due, what are you having, do you have a name picked out? Ad nauseum. Yes, I am, it's a girl, yes, I know I am small, we're still discussing names.... Blah blah, blah....
Hurrah, a baby has arrived and then you are asked all of the stats. This is usually fine because most moms I know, especially new ones enjoy talking about their babies.
You'd think the questioning will end! Nope, not so! No sooner than your baby turns 6 months, the question of another comes up. Sheesh. So here I have my second beautiful girl and people are asking if we are going to "try for a boy." Sure, a boy would be lovely, but what is it to you? You do not need to know my private reproductive affairs! Thank you very much. And no, I don't really care whether I have a boy or not. The gender of my children does not make my family complete!
I know that most people mean well and are mostly just curious about your life and well being, but please, just let me tell you on my own terms and support me in the decisions I make! I am also guilty of asking these questions, but I try to restrain myself as I often do not know all of the other circumstances in someone's life.
I appreciate the curiosity and concern and I must prepare myself for the next round of questioning.
