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Saturday, September 25, 2010

Half a Year Away

So it is after midnight, yes, but today marks 6 months since my little boy was born. Not sure why it affected me so much. Every time the 24th rolls around each month, I have a moment, I think, but I got through month marker number five without much trouble. Six months feels so long. I know that the next six will go by so much faster than those that preceded. Changes, so many changes.

I already feel my memory fading. Just today, while looking at a cousin's pictures on Facebook, I stumbled upon a photo of Phineas that I had never noticed before. I am sure my mother-in-law took it and sent it to family over the phone. It ended up on Facebook the day P finished his cold cap therapy. I was sort of taken aback. It was an angle that looked different from other photos we have of him. I felt like it was a revelation, like I was already forgetting what he looked like. I thought that I had memorized everything about the way he looked and felt. I hope that does not fade too much, but I know it will and I will have to rely on photos.

I feel so far from him right now, I wish I were closer. I meant to snag the photo to put with this post, but alas, I cannot find it now. Sort of like my memory, I guess.

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