Where do we go from here?
I have a conundrum. I stared this blog partly due to peer pressure. I posted about everyday events, funny stuff and things I was interested in. Then Phineas died, and i became a blog mostly about him. Now that we have Frederick, I feel like I have moved to another chapter. I am not sure what this chapter is. Post baby death, post rainbow baby birth. I know that I should just post about what I want and it should be fine. I am hesitant. I am likely overestimating my readership, since I barely post and when I feel moved to do so, I write about my dead son, but I feel sensitive about who is reading. I am protective of my own feelings and more concerned of others as well, because I have hurt others through this blog.
So, where do I go from here?
3 remarks:
It's your blog, write what you want, as often as you want. I hope you keep writing though.
You should write about whatever your heart is feeling Kathryn. I think your writings are beautiful! I don't know who could possibly be hurt from your blog.
It has been over 5 years since Gabriel's passing and I still write about him. Sometimes I wonder if people think I am unwilling to let go (which truly, I am!) Sometimes I wonder if people think I am trying to have a pity party or that I'm looking for attention. But I am certain that that is not what I am trying to do when I write about him. I am trying to keep him a part of my life.
When we lose a baby, so much is lost...hopes and dreams for the future with that child. It's okay to hold on to that. Sometimes, writing about them is the only way to do that. You should not feel bad about it and again, just write what you are feeling. Write about what's on your mind...be it Phineas, Frederick, your beautiful girls or anything else for that matter. It is what a blog is for...to express yourself!
Love you Kathryn!
~Rebecca~
Kathryn, this is your space to write whatever you're thinking and feeling and doing. I'll keep reading no matter what your posts. I'm interested in YOU! I love you so so much.
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