tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4911332932378802368.post3314512391912416652..comments2023-07-25T05:28:06.388-04:00Comments on An Unholy Mess Of A Girl: Don't Know What To ThinkKathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481910525497161619noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4911332932378802368.post-32295101770842583042011-03-18T19:13:33.231-04:002011-03-18T19:13:33.231-04:00Thanks, Heather! That really means a lot.
Abby, ...Thanks, Heather! That really means a lot. <br /><br />Abby, I decided to keep the post up based on what you said. I think you are totally right. Stillbirth and neonatal death used to be much more common (my great grandmother and her mother lost four babies each), and names were often reused. <br /><br />Now, it is pretty uncommon to lose a baby. Most people are afraid even to mention your child to you. Using a name again would seem crazy to most.<br /><br />I understand this woman's position and wanting to avoid additional painful reminders. I have them too.Kathrynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10481910525497161619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4911332932378802368.post-62387915420578761212011-03-18T10:47:37.632-04:002011-03-18T10:47:37.632-04:00I think you're right about names being sacred....I think you're right about names being sacred. But I'm not sure that they're any less sacred because they're shared.<br /><br />My grandmother used to call herself second-hand Rose. She had an older sister who died before she was born, also named Rose. In their era, baby names were routinely handed on in such circumstances. Today that feels heartless or maybe just odd.<br /><br />I'm not really sure how to say this - it is as if there's a thread connecting the individual and the name. The thread is what we should value - the act of choosing, believing, loving. And the thread remains, no matter what happens to either of us.<br /><br />Just as you wrote that you might delete your post, I hesitate to submit this comment - but you're talking about something that no one dares talk about, and it is incredibly powerful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4911332932378802368.post-90646359617906461112011-03-18T10:39:29.068-04:002011-03-18T10:39:29.068-04:00Kathryn, no one who knows you (even those like me ...Kathryn, no one who knows you (even those like me who only know you through our computer screens) could ever think you would casually use a name that had been given to someone's lost child, without thought. You did not know, no-one can hold that against you, nor should they.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14516334133393089700noreply@blogger.com